Divorce Mediation & Children

  • How much guidance do mediators offer couples and families with regard to children’s living arrangements after divorce?
  • Do mediators address the research being done on negative effects on children of separation and divorce?
  • Is it better for children to live one-half time in both parents’ homes or have a primary residence?
  • How much planning to parents need to do for their children’s college education at the time of divorce?
  • As children get older and they have more commitments, how can the agreements a couple make in mediation change over time?

Q: How much guidance do mediators offer couples and families with regard to children’s living arrangements after divorce?

Experienced mediators can offer important and useful information about alternative arrangements which have been used by separating and divorcing couples as well as about the descriptive and experimental research which has been done with regard to outcomes for children of separation and divorce.

 

Q: Do mediators address the research being done on negative effects on children of separation and divorce?

Divorce when carefully considered, with alternatives explored, is often necessary for couples and their children and may over the long run be even better for children than if parents with serious differences and problems stay together. Over the short run many children experience difficulties with the separation of their parents. In mediation, parents are encouraged to realistically anticipate possible difficulties for the children with the children. Parents are also encouraged to let the children know that together, as parents, they will do everything possible to mitigate the negative ramifications for their children.

Q: Is it better for children to live one-half time in both parents’ homes or have a primary residence?

Our experience and the research we are acquainted with indicates that the really critical determinants of children’s positive outcomes after divorce are not the structures of their living arrangements, but the manner in which the parents learn to deal with one another, to handle conflict between them and to continue their mutual investment in the children’s psychological, emotional, academic and spiritual growth.

Q: How much planning to parents need to do for their children’s college education at the time of divorce?

Given the high costs for college, it is important to address how college will be paid for, and to begin a savings plan, relatively early in a child’s life. Significant time in mediation is spent addressing how parents will each contribute to their children’s college educational costs.

Q: As children get older and they have more commitments, how can the agreements a couple make in mediation change over time?

Change and flexibility are built into agreements with regard to all aspects concerning children. Growth and development need to be accounted for in the couple’s original Separation Agreement which is entered into the Judgment of Divorce. All matters regarding children, in addition, are modifiable by a court of competent jurisdiction.

Contact Massachusetts divorce mediator Tracy Fischer to schedule a confidential consultation.

Massachusetts divorce mediator, Attorney Tracy Fischer is a Greater Boston divorce mediator providing mediation and family law legal services to individuals and families throughout the Boston Metro-North region including Andover, Beverly, Boxford, Burlington, Danvers, Gloucester, Marblehead, Peabody, Salem, Tewksbury, Topsfield, and Wilmington, Massachusetts.