Additional Information:

My husband and I are getting divorced.  We are divorcing amicably and have decided together that the children will live with me and see their dad every other weekend and Wednesday nights.  Will a mediator help us figure out a visitation schedule for grandparents and aunts/uncles who will want to see the kids?  His side of the family is blaming me for the divorce, and they are being hostile toward me so I’m not feeling very good about frequent visits by his family.    Also, can I request that their visits be supervised by me? I want to be around because I worry that they will bad-mouth me to the kids.

ANSWER:

It is terrific that you have already been able to agree on a schedule that works for both of you.  Generally speaking, the parents are the ones that have time with the children and then it is up to them to make arrangements with their relatives or parents to see the children during that parents time.  Supervising visits can be very difficult to maintain.  Since you and your husband are divorcing amicably, this is something that should be addressed in mediation. You can discuss and agree upon how you will inform the relatives of the types of things that are OK to say in front of or to the children.  You and your husband can explain to the grandparents etc. that when they malign a parent the child is truly hurt by this as it actually has a negative impact on the identity formation of the child. 

Attorney Mediator Tracy Fischer provides mediation services and helps divorcing couples figure out important matters related to their children and their  family.  Mediator Tracy Fischer works with families and individuals in  Needham and in the surrounding Boston Metro communities including: Newton, Brookline, Dedham, Norwood, Dover, Natick, Wellesley, Wayland and Weston.