My husband and I are getting divorced and have agreed to try mediation. We have 3 young children, oldest is 8 years old. The kids are all handling the news of the divorce differently and we know that they’ll adjust and also that their needs will change as they get older. Before we decided to get divorced we were looking to move, but in the same town of Salem. Wondering if we should just put that off so there won’t be too many changes for the kids? Also, besides finalizing financial matters and our parenting plan, is it possible to include in the divorce agreement that the parents will re-visit the agreement at predetermined times in the future? I know it will help me stay focused on the kids and on our future hopefully with a positive attitude about the separation. Would we work with the same mediator for future appointments to re-visit the plan? It would be nice to work with the same mediator, as s/he would get to know our kids.
Regarding the children and moving, there are a few different issues to consider. If you are separating and divorcing now, one of you will be moving now anyway – so they will have to deal with this change. If you are moving purely to upgrade your house or neighborhood then maybe this would not be the best time, given the number of changes the children will be dealing with. If you are moving for financial reasons and need to downsize, then you may not have the luxury of putting this move off.
Including predetermined times to re-visit the parenting plan is absolutely possible and certainly recommended. As you are aware, many things change over time that would affect your parenting schedule. You may come across difficult decisions that are not always easily agreed upon that would benefit from a short mediation sessions. Since you would have developed a relationship with the mediator and the mediator would have a sense of your history, it would seem to make a lot of sense to work with the same mediator if both parents feel comfortable doing so.
Salem Divorce Mediator Tracy Fischer provides on-going mediation services for divorced couples wishing to re-visit their divorce agreement at predetermined times in the future. Mediator Tracy Fischer works with families in the Greater Boston area including Salem and the nearby towns of: Marblehead, Swampscott and Peabody.