Is this a photo of moss growing in sidewalk cracks, or could it be a forest on a broad expanse of ledge? Someone rushing, late for an appointment may see nothing, while a child could see a tiny imaginary world within the gap. With different perspectives, we can see whole new realms.

Perception can change how something looks, what it means to you, and how we understand ourselves and others. For example, how do you feel watching the suffering in Ukraine on the news across the world? What may be different for someone who is experiencing the war and its effects first-hand?

Connect this idea to any major life event, such as divorce. What does it feel like to experience your parents’ divorce as opposed to experiencing your own? Consider how the person you are communicating with may feel and try to put yourself in their shoes. There is so much to learn by thinking about the issue from a different perspective. 

When working through challenging parenting issues, it can be very useful to consider how you would feel in the position of your co-parenting partner or your child. What would you feel seeing the world from their perspective? Are there ways you could navigate the issue differently moving forward?

I recommend to my mediation clients that they think about perspective often and try to avoid the “I want” and “I need” mentality. Focus on what your spouse may be thinking and feeling about the particular issue. Be open to switching your perspective, because if you know how you would feel in your co-parent’s position, it will be easier to find a clear solution.